Is this about the time when new years resolutions fizzle and die? Is this the time when negativity starts to take control? I am over two months into a clean eating lifestyle and this week feels like the engine is running out of gas…sort of.
I am not giving up. In fact I am not even tempted to go back to eating the way I was. But this week was just a bit harder because the arthritis flared in my oldest, and my youngest is dealing with multiple auto-immune diseases that are all mildly brewing. My thoughts spin out of control with doubt. “Is this worth it, is it working, what the hell is going on here!” But I have faith. Change can’t happen over night, and the simple fact that a red blood cell lives for 4 months means the body takes time to change too. I ask myself, if I think having sick kids is bad now, would I want to know how much worse it could be if my children were not eating nutrient rich foods?
So now I pick myself up off the floor and pat myself on the back. “It’s ok” I say, “While I see room for improvement, I am doing fine” I feel like I am in constant need of reinsurance, especially when there are so many opinions in my house. According to my oldest, all we eat is chili and tacos! I feel like I need to step outside of my cooking comfort zones, but that is a risky move when emotions are high. Stick with what they like and they will be happy, equals no complaints and no meltdowns. This weeks goal, to not make chili or tacos.
Last night I realized just how far I have come. There was a day when my pantry was full of sugary treats, and tasty emptiness. My kids could clean out the cupboards in days, they drank milk like it was water. My sugar baby was so cute with his little Buddha Belly ate sugary cereals all day long, because I was taught it was a healthy snack.
Changing our food habits didn’t happen over night. Its taken years to eliminate things one by one. Two steps forward one step back. And then last night.. when my oldest son saw some freshly made tortillas he said “Oh Myyyyyy GOD Tor-TILL-AS!!!” like they were candy. He calls them Tor-Till-as, he is so cute! Five or six years ago no one in this family would have been so content as he was eating a tortilla.
So to sum up my week. It’s all ok, the ups and the downs. I think anyone who appears to make any change simple and easy, just don’t talk about the fears and the failures.