I am a food-aholic. The addiction is real. I use to beat myself up and make my self feel bad because I have no self control when it came to food. I realize over the years the negative self talk only fuels the fire of addiction. I know better now how to battle my addictions. Over the years I learned to fear carbs. Now I embrace some, and others eat in moderation like the almighty bagel. It’s been my favorite food since I was 12, I used to order the five cheese bagel sandwich on lunch dates with my Mother. I realize that when I eat something every day I tend to take advantage of the flavors and satisfaction of the meal. Now keeping it in moderation I savor the moment.
It is hard planing meals for 6. There is a lot of trial and error. Maybe that is why I feel defeated sometimes. It’s not my fault for something tasting bad, but I tend to take it personally. I don’t know why I do. This week I messed up two meals that I had made before perfectly. I hate that. I hate being disappointed when its not right. Maybe this is why people don’t like cooking?
As I struggle to write this weeks blog, I realize even if this week wasn’t perfect, even if it wasn’t exciting, even if I messed up and dinner didn’t taste right, I still did pretty dang good! I am proud of myself and I am proud that I haven’t given up. I was proud when my husband said this morning that he only has one more belt notch left and he will have to get a smaller belt. I am proud that my girls keep commenting on how their clothes fit, I am proud that we all are still slowly (the healthy way) losing weight. I am proud.